Friday, April 08, 2011

To work or not to work....the daily mom dilemma.

I mostly read in sound-bites….RSS headlines, emails, friend’s status updates, etc. But I read enough to know that there are millions of mothers who make quite possibly the biggest decision of their lives, every day: to work or to stay home.  The blog coverage alone on this topic could fill an encyclopedia.  It’s a highly emotional topic, and often the decision is being made in the midst of a hormone surge. But the thing is, the decision doesn’t end once you make it.  What I now realize is that it’s not a popular topic because it’s such a difficult decision, (and because it creates a great divide socially between mothers, another topic altogether) but rather because it’s a decision that a mother faces every single day.  

I recently saw a post from a woman who was blogging from her mobile device while commuting on the train home.  Her words were riddled with guilt and anger as she clicked away on her keyboard, all while watching the minutes tick closer to her child’s bedtime. She was trapped in the clutches of the daily grind, missing out on her only special moments with her children that day.  She had already made her choice….to work full time, yet here she was, still talking about the decision years later. 

A few weeks ago I spent time with a girlfriend of mine, a stay at home mother of three. She met me for lunch in my swank office building, looking around with starry eyes at the whole sophisticated scene.  She turned to me at one point and said, "wow, you must be so proud of what you have accomplished." She went on complain about her sweatpant clad days of time-outs and potty training, adding that she was going back to teaching at some point.

I suppose the old adage applies, the grass is always greener.....The problem of course, is that there is no right answer for someone making that choice.  So, as I sit here saddened by the holiday concerts I will miss and the classroom volunteer opportunities I cannot raise my hand for, regretting the energy I am giving to a boss who is never satisfied, I too am struggling with the choice I made so many years ago.   The only comfort I take is in the fact that I had the choice to make at all. 

Friday, April 01, 2011

Why I like Friday, Friday, Friday

No, I'm not referring to the curiously popular Rebecca Black song. For some reason I woke up today completely unmotivated to do anything that resembles work.  While I would always rather sleep in, spend time with the family and swan about my day very casually, tackling today is proving particularly painful.   In order to stomach another day at work I decided to skip the regular lunch time workout and order my FAVORITE lunch (seen here) - tuna sandwich and sweet potato fries.   I'm also getting through the grind by daydreaming about about this day only one week ago, which was decidedly better.

Friday March 25th I woke up with a spring in my step.  I knew it would be a great day.  Not only was I only working a half day, but shortly after work I was joining my girlies for a short drive to Atlantic City to see Janet Jackson at the Borgata. For someone who now spends weekends schlepping kids around to moonbounce parties and swimming lessons, this was a real treat.  In this venue Jackson shined....I felt like she was my girl.  I bonded with everyone around me, singing along to back-in-the-day-hits, doing as much as of the choreography from her videos as we could manage in our seats.

But the real surprise came after the concert (spoiler alert, no we did not meet Janet).  Our Janet ticket stubs got us into mur.mur (the club) where Samantha Ronson was set to spin.  Four great things happened: 1) Janet's backup dancers showed up and we met them, 2) Samantha Ronson rocked it and allowed us a post party pic 3) Joe Fatone showed up and invited us into his VIP section (my fuzzy and lame picture of him here via a smudged blackberry at 3am) and 4) I managed to dance for 4 hours straight.

So cheers to Fridays.....raise your glass to those with only sweet potato fries to look forward to and those where you're a rock star for the night.